Into the Fire

Once I Was:

Story Nine

The First

Imladris, TA 162

Erestor and Glorfindel stood among the many cleaning servants as every piece of bedding from the elflings’ rooms was cleaned.

“Thirty years old and they contract chicken pox.” Glorfindel muttered.

Erestor laughed, “First time around human children and an illness which even elves must battle.”

“Why are we helping to clean everything?” Glorfindel asked.

“Because Elrond knows well all the elflings have you wrapped around their fingers. They would only have to shed a tear in front of you and you’d be scratching their spots for them.” Erestor replied.

Glorfindel could not argue you the truth but still asked, “If that is my reason, what is yours?”

“Morwen asked me to make certain you do not manage to throw any of her belongings off a snow and ice-covered balcony.” Erestor said.

“I did not throw the twins off that balcony,” Glorfindel griped, “they went running down the thing itself and slid.”

“Even you must admit the incident does not offer the best testimony for your child minding skills.” Erestor replied.

“Even the most skilled would fail against Elladan and Elrohir while they are full of sugar.” Glorfindel said, scrubbing a stuffed toy.

“Lord Erestor?” A high-pitched voice of an elfling asked from the door.

Erestor and Glorfindel turned to the doorway and spotted Thalion. The young elf came to Imladris little more than a decade ago and was still quite skittish but as determined as his name. He was far more reserved than the twins and Morwen, favoring more of a quiet strength than outlandish schemes. He was one of the few elflings in Imladris not to be struck down with the illness; Elrond stated the records Thalion arrived with showed his own battle of the chicken pox when he was quite young.

“Yes, Thalion, what is it?” Erestor asked.

“Thandrog says those abandoned kittens he found in the stables are able to stand on their own.” Thalion replied.

“Kittens?” Glorfindel asked.

Erestor patted his shoulder, ignoring the unpleasant look on Glorfindel’s face as he dampened the sleeve. “Some families are in need of cats to take care of their vermin.” Erestor explained. “The request comes to my desk often. We have many cats, and dogs which we train and send out.”

“All these years here and I never knew of the domestic animal trade of Imladris.” Glorfindel said as he attempted to dry his sleeve.

“I see it as giving abandoned animals good homes where they are able to earn their keep through their services. We can hardly shelter every lost cat and dog found in and around Imladris.” Erestor stated.

“When will you send them off?” Thalion asked.

“A few more months yet; they will start the training soon but it is more instinct than any other teaching.” Erestor tilted his head in inquiry, “Why do you ask?”

Thalion bowed his head and studied the floor. The slight elf shrugged, “Morwen will be sad; she’s visited those kittens each day she could.”

Glorfindel raised a brow, “Did she?”

Thalion nodded. “Thandrog says she has a natural rapport with felines.”

“She does get territorial.” Glorfindel muttered. “Scratches as well.”

Erestor shook his head at Glorfindel. “Is there a particular kitten she is drawn to?” Erestor asked Thalion.

“Yes,” Thalion said. “A small black and white kitten, she calls him Sídhadonnen.”

“Sídhadonnen?” Glorfindel asked. “Peace born again? Why would she name..”

“I believe it was the kitten who was on death’s door but is proving to be one of the strongest now.” Erestor explained.

“Peace?” Glorfindel asked.

Thalion shook his head, “Far from it.”

“Are you going to bribe Morwen with a kitten?” Glorfindel asked Erestor.

Erestor smiled, “Better to scratch a cat than to scratch a blister and her begetting day is but a week hence.”

“Certainly a better gift than another book.” Glorfindel muttered. He put the soap down and stepped away from the washing bin.

Erestor glared at his friend, “Books are expensive, valuable, and she likes them.”

“They are so practical.” Glorfindel said. “Practical gifts are for when you get closer to majority.”

“You must have been a spoiled child.” Erestor took an offered towel from one of the maids to dry his hands. “Thalion, takes us to this kitten.”

**************************

A week passed, full of whining elflings and tired healers, Morwen was the only one left in the halls. Today, while the day after her begetting day, was more joyous for the child who merely wished to return to her own room. Erestor concocted his own form of a devious plan to surprise Morwen with her own kitten and Glorfindel was currently being used as the distraction. Glorfindel, personally, did not believe it was one of Erestor’s better strategies.

Waking into the healing room, Glorfindel found Elrond busying mixing up an ointment while Morwen sat patiently on the bed. Both of her hands were covered with soft gloves, secured around her writes with leather ties and intricate knotting.

Glorfindel tapped Morwen’s forearms, “Why are your hands covered in cloth?” Turning to Elrond he asked, “Proper medical procedure?”

“Celebrian’s doing.” Elrond said, carrying a bowl of ointment over to Morwen’s bedside.

“Celebrian says this way I won’t scratch.” Morwen explained.

“You know better than to scratch.” Glorfindel admonished.

“It itched.” Morwen said.

“You will be free of the healing halls soon; we need assurance you will not scratch.” Elrond said. He rolled up the sleeves of her dress and began to softly apply the ointment to the blisters. “We will need to do this many times a day; do not think you’ve escaped the healing halls just yet. These are healing, we do not need them infected.”

“Elrond is correct, you know..” Glorfindel started.

“Of course he is. He is the chief healer.” Morwen interrupted.

Elrond laughed, moving to Morwen’s legs taking care of the blisters and scabs from other childhood injuries. “All done.” Elrond announced.

“Good.” Glorfindel said. He stood up and proceeded to pick Morwen up, smiling at her indignant squawk.

“Put me down.” The elfling ordered.

“I am personally carrying you to your quarters, consider it a gift.” Glorfindel said.

“I can walk on my own.” Morwen stated, doing her best to glare at him.

“I am certain you can, you can also ‘accidentally’ brush up against doorways to relieve your still itching spots.” Glorfindel said.

Morwen pinched him and said, “You could have more faith in a child.”

“Erestor’s order.” Glorfindel muttered, silently cursing his friend as his skin throbbed from the itch.

Morwen shook her head but stayed still. “You should have said that to begin with.”

Glorfindel scoffed as he walked out of the door. “You will follow Erestor’s orders without question but mine are to be dismissed?”

“Of course.” Morwen said.

Glorfindel shook his head and continued the trek to Morwen’s room. Arriving on the doorstep, he kicked the door as his arms were full of elfling.

“I could have knocked.” Morwen said.

“I like to do things my own way.” Glorfindel said.

“Yes, his own undignified, barbaric way.” Erestor said through the open door.

“Erestor, why are you here?” Morwen asked, quickly dropping down from Glorfindel’s arms.

Erestor opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the shrewd meow of the kitten on the bed.

Glorfindel placed a hand over his mouth to cover his smile as the elfling ran over to the bed. Erestor followed her, pushing aside her hair as the kitten attempted to swipe it.

Glorfindel watched the two relatives, separate by years more than degrees of kin, and took joy in the sight of the dark heads bowed, playing with the dark kitten.

************************************

Imladris, TA 207

Glorfindel rode into Imladris, dismounting his horse and brushing the road dust off of his shoulders. Something was wrong in the valley; it was too quiet and none of the elflings were running to greet him; none appearing clamoring for presents and no Erestor demanding observations of his travels. Glorfindel continued to the stables more suspicious than concerned. Inside the stable hands went about their duties with the normal banter of family friends and workers. Glorfindel was greeted as he normally was and no one seemed to be distracting him from keeping a watchful eye over the stable. Glorfindel handed his reins over to one of the workers before he turned and left. Walking to the house he worked off his riding gloves and looked over the landscape, trying to discern any hidden elfling in tree, bush, or on a balcony.

When a body collided with his own, he was hardly surprised. What did surprise him was the owner of said body. “Thandrog?”

“Oh, Captain, you’re back.” Thandrog said, his cheerful tone oddly subdued.

Glorfindel narrowed his eyes, “Are you the distraction?”

“Pardon?” Thandrog asked.

“The pawn?” Glorfindel tried again.

“Captain, I think you are confused. Or I think I am confused…” Thandrog trailed off.

Glorfindel sighed, “Where are the elflings hiding?”

“You do not know?” Thandrog asked, eyes wide in surprise.

Glorfindel patted the elf’s head and said, “Thandrog if I knew would I be asking you?”

Thandrog threw his hand off and said, “Glorfindel, Sídhadonnen died this morning. Balanauth said he would send you a message.”

“I left earlier than planned.” Glorfindel stated as he began to remove his cloak and scabbard, handing them all to Thandrog. “Where is Morwen?”

“With Erestor.” Thandrog answered, struggling under the weight of the items Glorfindel placed in his arms.

Glorfindel began to run up the stairs, Thandrog trailing behind.

. “Who found Sídhadonnen?” Glorfindel asked as they walked into his office.

“Morwen.” Thandrog said, placing the gear down and taking a pitcher of water to the wash basin. “Elladan was with her. They took the cat to Elrond but it was too late.”

Glorfindel dipped his hands in the water and washed his face. As he patted his skin dry he asked, “How is she?”

“I think she is still in shock. I’ve not yet seen or heard her cry.” Thandrog said.

“Elladan held his tongue?” Glorfindel asked.

“Despite the years of scratches he’s received, Elladan was crying.” Thandrog replied. “Despite his many complaints, I think Elladan loved that cat just a little bit.”

“Sídhadonnen was not only Morwen’s first pet, but Elladan’s as well.” Glorfindel said. Securing his hair in a ponytail with a leather tie, he patted Thandrog’s shoulder. “Thank you for your help.”

“Going to see Erestor?” Thandrog asked.

“Possibly.” Glorfindel said. “If anyone asks, I have simply returned.” Glorfindel said.

*************************************

Erestor sat beside Morwen on his balcony. Both elves stared over the land, the silence saying more words of comfort than any pointless ramble could.

“Is there anything you need?” Erestor finally asked. There was no need to ask how Morwen felt, her spirit showed her pain.

Morwen shrugged, “I just need time alone to think and to sort.” She picked at her nails and studied the patter of the stone floor. “I appreciate everyone’s offers of comfort but this is something I need to figure out of my own. I do not need to be smothered.”

“Nor coddled, as they all surely will.” Erestor said. “Well, I only see one solution.”

“Yes?”

Erestor stood up and held out a hand to Morwen. “We shall have to smuggle you out of the House.”

“Ah, the labyrinth of hidden passages.” Morwen whispered.

“You are the only elfling who knows where they all lead; even Elladan and Elrohir do not know every last location.” Erestor said.

“Elrond knows well they would invade the wine cellars; I think it wise to withhold such information.” Morwen said as she stood up.

Erestor handed her a cloak before perusing his bookshelf. “History, mythology, or epics?”

“Anything with humor?” Morwen inquired.

“Elladan’s historical essays?” Erestor asked.

“Still full of tragedy.” Morwen mused. “Mythologies then.”

“Good choice.” Erestor replied. He took the book down and walked over to Morwen, placing an arm around her waist as they began to walk through the passage.

*************************************

Glorfindel walked past the line of elves and elflings sitting outside Erestor’s office. All the elflings were gathered in a circle but Elladan still managed to sit closest to the door. There were also some assistants, clearly angered they were being denied access to the Chief Councilor. Glorfindel walked past all of them and turned to face them.

“Leave.” Glorfindel ordered.

At the many protests, Glorfindel held up a hand, silencing all. “If you are here to see Erestor, it can wait.”

“Lord Glorfindel..” one of the assistants tried.

“It can wait.” Glorfindel hissed, glaring at the elf who dared to interrupt him. The assistants nodded and hurried down the hall.

“As for you four,” Glorfindel said to Elladan, Elrohir, Thalion and Rian, “go about your day.”

“Glorfindel!” Elladan protested.

“Elladan, this is Morwen. Logical, analytical Morwen. How upset would she be if everyone’s day was disrupted?” Glorfindel asked.

“Very.” Elladan said.

“How likely is she to take comfort from anyone now?” Glorfindel asked.

“Not very.” Elladan answered.

“Therefore, you can do what?” Glorfindel asked.

“Leave.” Elladan sighed, turning around.

Elrohir and Rian followed but Thalion lingered.

“She needs to talk to someone.” Thalion said. “She needs to cry.”

“She will, Thalion.” Glorfindel assured him. “She needs to do so on her own.”

Thalion nodded and finally left. Glorfindel watched him leave, shaking his head at Thalion’s actions before turning and walking into Erestor’s office. He was not surprised to see the elf walking back into his office from the doorway leading to the secret passages.

“Smuggled her out, did you?” Glorfindel asked.

“She needs to be alone for a bit.” Erestor said. “You need to learn to come into my office only when bid.”

“There are many things I need to learn.” Glorfindel said. “Where is the cat?”

“Elrond wrapped him up in a bundle; he is waiting for Morwen’s word on where to bury him.” Erestor answered.

“The cat despised the Grove of Mourning.” Glorfindel murmured. “He will need a different spot.” Glorfindel walked over to the passageway entrance. “May I?”

“Of course.” Erestor said. “Did you drive the others off?”

“They left.” Glorfindel confirmed.

Erestor sat down at his desk and sighed, “Good. I can get some work down before I am bombarded by all the pointless requests.”

“Erestor,” Glorfindel said as he stood in the entranceway, “It is perfectly acceptable for you to miss the cat as well.”

“Thank you.” Erestor said. “I will miss the little demon biting at my toes. He was the best foot warmer.”

Glorfindel laughed as he closed the door behind him.

********************************************

Morwen’s book lay on the ground, pages in the dirt. Her hands rested in an empty lap and her eyes were vacant. The tears no longer fell but their trails down her face were evident.

“I should not miss an animal this much.” Morwen said, feeling Glorfindel sit beside her.

“You loved Sídhadonnen, Morwen, you should not miss that blasted cat any less than you do.” Glorfindel assured her, pulling her into a loose embrace.

Morwen laughed, “He had a particular liking for you.”

“He like to use me as a bathroom.” Glorfindel muttered. He picked pieces of leaves out of Morwen’s hair and dusted her book off. Morwen sat silent, starting out into the trees. Glorfindel watched in amusement, he could see her mind coming to terms with the incident and the proper reaction. Logic, reason, and heart all battling.

Morwen spoke, her voice strong, if but a little shaky. “Logically I know people and animals must die. It is natural for those not gifted with an immortal spirit. Sídhadonnen was the first thing that was all mine. Not charity; not also Elladan’s or also Elrohir’s, not a hand-me-down, all new and all mine. He was an orphan just like me who was placed in a larger home. I am being silly.”

“You are grieving, Morwen.” Glorfindel assured her. “There is no weakness in your tears.”

“Why do I feel weak?” Morwen asked,

“Because you are in pain.” Glorfindel replied.

Morwen nodded, “He was more than a cat.” Morwen said. “He was my family.”

“Family is what you make it.” Glorfindel agreed. “The cat was your friend, your companion and your confidant.”

“He didn’t wake up.” Morwen said. “He just stayed asleep. He was stiff. I knew he was gone but Elladan insisted we…” Morwen sniffed. “Here I am crying over a cat while people deal with harder things.”

“We all have our own problems; you cannot compare one to another.” Glorfindel said.

“I will be fine.” Morwen said. “I just need some time.”

“Of course you will.” Glorfindel said.

“You must think me foolish. You’ve lived and died; you’ve seen things more horrible than I ever will.” Morwen said.

“I think you foolish for many things, Morwen, your inability to listen to my orders prime among them.” Glorfindel patted her hands, “This is not one of them. I cried for days over my first lost pet.” Glorfindel said. “It was Aman, the only death I knew for decades were those of animals. I could not be consoled.” Glorfindel laughed. “It was a turtle.”

“A turtle?” Morwen asked.

“A turtle.” Glorfindel replied “As you know, most animals live long in elven realms well, turtles have quite the long life span to begin with. My father decided a turtle would be the best choice for a pet because of the long lifespan.” He smiled, “My mother loved that turtle far more than I. I have no other siblings and while my family is nobility, there were few servants My mother claimed the turtle was the only being she could talk to about things which didn’t concern swords or battles. One day the turtle got out of its little pond and well, my father’s horse did not greet the turtle in a kind manner.”

“Your father’s horse killed your turtle?” Morwen asked, incredulous.

Glorfindel nodded. “I was distraught, my father felt such great guilt and my mother refused to even look at my father for days.”

“What happened?” Morwen asked.

“My mother decreed I was never to have a pet too small or too slow to get away from the horses and my father both built a special shrine to my turtle and simply gave me horses from there on out.”

Morwen scoffed, “You went from turtles to horses?”

“Erestor always claimed I was spoiled.” Glorfindel said.

Morwen raised a brow and asked, “Were you?”

Glorfindel shook his head, “I was loved; dearly loved. Even when my family disagreed with my life and my decisions, they always reminded me the way back to them was, and is, always open.”

“It must have been difficult for your mother, to give you away to duty twice in her life.” Morwen murmured.

Glorfindel’s smile was sad. He nodded, “My mother’s strength is something to be admired. She told me, the second time around, I was not simply hers; I belonged to so many others and was meant to belong to so many more.” Glorfindel stood, “Now that I have thoroughly distracted you, I wish to show you something.”

Morwen stood and shook the dirt off of her skirt. She gathered her book and cloak. Glorfindel was already making his way through the woods and Morwen ran to catch up.

Her breath caught as she followed him into a clearing, the dense trees giving way to a clear patch of sunlight.

Morwen studied the area, turning to Glorfindel in confusion.

“This spot here,” Glorfindel said gesturing to a warm patch of grass near one of the elms, “I thought it would be good place for Sídhadonnen burial.”

“It is perfect.” Morwen said. She glanced back at Glorfindel, “Thank you.”

“Plenty of warm sunlight.” Glorfindel said.

“He would like that.” Morwen agreed.

“I can even make him a grave marker.” Glorfindel offered.

“Wood rots.” Morwen observed as she walked closer to the spot.

Glorfindel shrugged, “I’ve always wanted to try my hand at stone masonry. This would be a worthy time.”

“I think it would be best to leave the chisel and the stone to Lord Elrond.” Morwen said, hands touching the ground.

“If you so decree.” Glorfindel said. “However, if Elrond makes the marker than I shall make you the reminder. It has been years since I cast a bronze sculpture, lifetimes even, but now is as good a time as any to remember old skills.”

“You don’t have to worry yourself with such a thing.” Morwen said.

“I might not be doing it for you.” Glorfindel said. “That cat and I spent many a long night up together. I did work, he tore apart my new leggings. I drank wine to keep working, he let his distaste at my clothing be known all over my shoes; then, when I would least expect it, he would jump into my lap and purr. Of course, he then would jump onto my desk and walk over my freshly inked paper and then jump down and walk over my floor.”

Morwen laughed as she leaned on Glorfindel’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

Glorfindel patted her back, “You will be fine, you will grow, you will remember and I am certain you will have many more cats which will torture us all.”

“There will only be one Sídhadonnen though.” Morwen said.

“Because the Valar are kind.” Glorfindel said. “Now, let us return before they send a search party for us.”

Morwen nodded, leaning on Glorfindel’s own strength as they walked back to their home.

*****************************

The family and friends of Lord Elrond were gathered on a large blanket, watching the stars as they sat on the riverbanks. Elrond watched Elrohir and Thalion play with one of the hunting dogs, throwing a ball back and forth; even in the darkness the hound could find it. Rian sat perfectly still as Celebrian brushed out her hair and put in different braids and hairstyles, Glorfindel and Lindir calling their approval. Erestor and Balanauth were debating the budget and supplies for the patrols. Some realms were cutting down their forces but Elrond would never allow such a thing; even if he would, Glorfindel certainly would not.

Elladan and Morwen drew the majority of his attention. The young elves, both starting to appear more adult than child, sat side by side under one of the trees. It was their laugher which held Elrond’s gaze, as Elladan reminisced on all the times he was defeated or defended by Sídhadonnen.

“Remember..” Elladan’s words were interrupted by chuckles, “remember that time Tharien tried to kiss me during harp practice?”

Morwen giggled, “Oh Eru, he came out of no where. Took a flying leap at her.”

Elladan nodded, tears of laughter streaming down his face, “Landed in her hair.”

“She screeched so loudly.” Morwen said.

“Lindir claimed such a sound was never heard in Arda.” Elladan continued.

“Glorfindel came running in with a sword drawn.” Morwen said.

“Erestor behind him with that heavy tome of epic legends in Quenya.” Elladan chuckled.

Elrond stood up and walked over to them. He sat down beside Elladan and placed an arm around his shoulder. “Everyone feeling better?” he asked.

Morwen smiled at him and nodded. “Just another lesson, another moment in life.” Morwen said. “Loss is painful and inevitable, but good memories are so valuable.”

“Morwen’s sound a bit wise there.” Elladan said, a sly twinkle in his eye, “much like you, dear Father.”

“She is a good student.” Elrond replied.

Elladan tilted his head to the side, “I don’t know…dark hair…”

“Elladan!” Elrond chastised, laughing too hard to keep his lordly composure.

“A wise elf once told me family is what you make it.” Morwen said. “Be it elf, cat or….” Morwen laughed, “Elladan.”

Elrond leaned his head against Elladan as he laughed, Elladan doing the same to Morwen.

************************************

Glorfindel brought his horse to a stop as he heard a cry in the trees. It was a high pitched cry, almost like the sound of an infant yet the tone was too feral to be human. Glorfindel rode in the direction of the distressed call until he found himself staring up into the branches of a young tree. From the branch above his head luminous eyes blinked at him while an orange paw swiped out at his head. Glorfindel quickly caught the miniature paw in his hands before carefully pulling the rest of the small kitten off the branch.

“One should not swipe at their rescuers.” Glorfindel scolded the kitten. “Nor should they climb up trees when they do not yet know how to get down.”

He studied the animal, noting it was a peculiar mixture of orange and cream-colored swaths of fur. The kitten was old enough to live apart from its mother but still too young to be completely on its own and survive; it’s bony state a clear testament to the lack of good meals.

“Frankly I am surprised a hawk has not yet caught you; fortunate for you I am heading to a place where you will have many elves willing to fawn over you and cater to your every feline whim.” Glorfindel patted the kitten’s head as he secured it in the pocket of his cloak, warming the animal with his body heat, “Be forewarned, this is the last time I will rescue you from a tree. The next time you get caught you will either have to wait for another to be so kind or you will simply have to learn how to climb down.”

Carefully he mounted his horse while he continued his dialogue. “These living arrangements do have some terms, I must warn you. You will receive food, milk, and water a plenty. There are numerous warm spots for you to sleep in, papers to claim as your own and beds to make nests in. Plenty of tender hands to pet you, laps to rest in, and sharp enough nails to give you a proper scratch. However, the one thing you must not do, is make a waste space of my person, shoes, bed or clothing. There is another elf, dark hair and eyes, named Erestor. Feel free to make his study your litter box.”

The kitten let out a small mew as it burrowed deeper into Glorfindel’s pocket. The elf laughed and told his horse to go forward.

“One final thing,” Glorfindel said, “while I am sure you will become a great predator of mice, moles, dust balls, and quills you have liberated from someone’s desk, do not leave them on my pillow. You will be living with a quaint little she-elf. Do not bring them to her pillow either, as she will make me clean the mess up. If you wish to display your gifts to anyone, there is this elf you will meet called Elladan. Now, don’t mistake him with his twin, Elrohir. Elrohir is not one to torture, Elladan will be the one you should bombard with presents. Lastly, Thandrog and Elrond, while they will poke and prod you often to assess the state of your health, they are perfectly nice creatures. Also, as beautiful as Celebrian is, do not, for the sake of your short life, rip her lace with your nails. Not only will you never hear the end of it, I will not either, and where shall that leave us? Both up in the trees, you could say. Alas, she lived in one.”

The kitten let out a chirrup and Glorfindel nodded, “Yes, lived in this massive tree. No sanctuary to be found there I fear.”

Glorfindel found himself on the path into the valley and breathed deeply. “Of course, the rest of this land is a sanctuary and a welcome place to call home.”

****************************************************************************

A/N 1: Because the cat was in an elven realm, well, I’m giving it an extended lifespan. Also, Sídhadonnen makes a brief appearance during the memories of Rian in Lullaby of Love, chapter 29.

Also, the story is somewhat dedicated to one of my cats, Emily, who died a month or so ago. Emily was more elephant the cat (not graceful at all, loud, and unable to meow since she was five) but when I went home for spring break, I really did miss her presence.

Also: All files except the character lists (because that will take a few days to update) are on the yahoo group. No more pesky notification e-mails.

I will update old webpage um...sometime soon. I promise.